Friday, April 28, 2006
rumbles & whines posted at 11:10
What is Regret... Regret in dictionary have various meanings- here are juz two meanings that i have picked out that realli best describe how i feel...
1) A sense of loss and longing for someone or something gone.
2) A feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different.
Guess everyone have had their very own regretting moments before.. N it juz happen to me not long.. is like juz a few days back.. to be more exact it was actually on Wednesday... Alrt.. am realli having a sense of disappointment in myself for not taking part and turning down the JP Morgan Coporate 5.6KM run even when i was offered to have the chance to run even on the very last min... damn.. juz becoz of my fear to turnout to be the very last soul to return to the finishing line.. i actually didnt convince myself to take part in the run... Now sitting here and looking back.. how i wish i could have juz ran on that very day and complete the entire course with 14 000 people out there... I realli admired those who were brave enuff to take up the challenge.. I realli feel embrassed... esp when i see old athletes running across the finishing lines...in my heart i tot i could do better than some other runners.. but in the other hand.. things always look easy when u juz view it with ur eyes.. Guess my timing will be real lousy if i had ran the course yst.. think by den i'll den realise actually i aint as good as i tot i'm, when compared to the others.. Anyhow.. the male finisher for the coporate race took only 18:23 mins to complete 5.6Km and the female finisher took ard 20 mins plus.. damn fast alrt.. they realli have real real biggy lungs i muz say... they were also last year first finisher for the run... Power!!! Of coz i believe they muz have been training real hard everyday.... My company that louis koo look-a-like also ran a pretty good timing...
My company will be having a cross country run at Machrichi on 13th May.. and is like 0645-1000... when i see the timing i wanna die already...so early.. cal me how to wake up and run.. even if i can wake up.. dun even think i'll have the energy to run lah... But i guess if i miss this chance to run again.. i'll regret again.. i duno.. it is juz like ur soul wanna do it but not ya body... my mental is realli getting from bad to worst.. so is my physical.. trying to keep up and live a healthy lifestyle.. but seems like i'm weaker than ever.. now even though i may still display muscles.. but all the muscles are like juz for display and show.. they aint have any power u noe... i think i cant even do standard and proper push-ups now... Say me pessimistic or say me useless.. i juz aint a person that believe in myself... i noe i've got to change.. i should learn to believe in wat i'm capable of.. but when i start to believe.. i always see someone better than me... Not that i wan to be the best or No.1 in the world... i duno.. is juz hard for me to convince myself that i'm strong and fit u noe... damn.. guess i realli need to see a psychiatrist ha... Anyhow juz hope thru more of running and daily activities.. i can learn to believe in myself more... Thanx for all my pals out there who have believe in me all along.. i realli appreciate all ur faith... THANXXXX
Okie.. Yst was my supervisor birthday.. Mingli and I are damn 2 sweet ppl haha (We're not bhb but stating the fact, Oops!) we brought her a famous amos heart shape cookie cake with wordings Happy Birthday Trixie on top of it.. realli a sweetie and nicey cookie cake ha but too bad we didnt manage to take photos of it.. as the nicey salesgirl help us to package it into the lovely container and seal it b4 we can have a chance to take photo of it..sianz... Okie.. if u think we're still not sweet enuff.. we actually did a card for her too yea.. is handmade okie ha... Of coz with the technology and generation now.. we also very high-tech... we used photoshop and our creativity and did a real nice card for her..sorry also no photo...didnt manage to take too as our hp are surrender at the guard hse... Anyhow..It realli touches her alrt.. so yea.. we feel real happy too.. it mayb a real small gift.. but afterall is our thoughts tat counts rite...
This week passed real fast for me.. Nxt week will be week 9 already.. and only left 6 more weeks to go b4 i stepped out of STK and back to skool again... this week passed real fast as mingli and i have been engaging in lotsa other activities rather than our projects lolx.. Tues my department have free lunching in celebrating all the April babies birthday, so Mingli and I were included to help out in the preparation process.. Wed we went out having free-lunching again.. coz my department (my supervisor's grp) won the SUDOKU competition.. so we all went to have curry fish head... Okie.. den thurs was other outing day.. went to portsdown STK to attend a Loss Weight Porgramme Talk...den went NUS to have lunch den went DSO... so by den when we return to STK.. already 4 plus plus and ready to go home lolx... I realli like outings like this ha.. coz the time of me engaging in working lessen.. sorry if i'm such a lazy bum.. but who would like to stay in the office and infront of the comp 24/7... Yst also played badminton singles for 1hr30mins.. damn tired.. but good sweat haha... thanx da bu dian for the coaching.. u're realli good!!!
Alrt.. yst was also a day where i found out so many ppl are so crazy over Da Chang Jing yea.. coz everywhere i go.. no matter in the office, out in da shopping mall or in the MRT... i bound to hear someone hp ringtone that is Da Chang Jing themesong... And i can hear lotsa uncles and ah pas whistling the themesong... i'm realli amaze by the influence and frenzy da chang jing brought into asia and singapore...
Have not been seeing Ailing after prom nite and our last class gathering i guess... is realli nice to see her again on Thurs yea.. and realli nice to still have a topic to chat on haha.. Anyhow.. u still look as great and pretty as ever...*envy
Alrt.. now i bet u should step any closer to Mingli.. think she's realli on fire.. going to explode any second.. coz our boss and the other duno-call-what-name guy call her to do lotsa stuff... and i'm here blogging haha... Her project is realli tough i guess... She's kinda depressed now.. coz her long long holi instead of play and make more money.. she gotto work on her project too.. suddenly.. i duno to feel that i'm lucky or i'm juz useless tat ppl dun wanna used me ha... anyhow.. my report is all half-done... realli realli need to buck-up...Jia yOU
->Counting down to 1745
Sunday, April 23, 2006
rumbles & whines posted at 23:10
Today is the official start of skool for all Ngee Ann Students... Seeing all my frens heading back skool again.. i suddenly got a mix feeling... an urge to be back to skool with them too... i'm realli missing all my lecture mates very very much.. though i dun realli noe all of them.. but all their presence do make the lecture hall cosier and my poly life a blast.. But now.. my classmates, lecture mates and I are all being spilt into diff classes and semester.. i'm realli gonna miss all their familiar faces and scent ha... Gonna meet new faces.. juz hope things will go on as smooth and better than before... I hope to meet with more nice ppl...
Anyhow.. Sat finally went to run at macritichi with Big Lung again.. thanx gal for always being there to run with me ha.. Sorry to always make u wake up darn early juz to run... Realli thanx you for pushing me along the way too.. i always die-ed during the midst of running.. And thanx to big lung to keep yelling and prone-ing me not to stop.. though i realli do tell myself to endure.. but i seriously far too weak den i thought.. think after not involving in TAS for so long.. i oso getting weaker in the process...mind over matter doesnt work for me anymore.. sigh.. need to realli work on my mental and run more... Anyhow.. Thanx big lung again...
Alrighty.. am trying to act busy here yea... so decided to blog haha.. Am doing my research findings also.. but u noe.. is super boring and dry and also very fed-up when u juz cant find wat u want and still.. i have to sit and stare infront of the comp hoping to find something relevant juz to complete my report... And i'm seriously trying to put up a good show in acting as a rather patient and hard-working researcher.. Damn.. Really wondering what my other pals are doing in lecture hall right now.. Are they all like me waiting for lunch time haha.. I realli miss the food in Canteen 5 as well as SIM... I'm realli famishing.... Okie.. finally the clock hits 1200... Going for my LUNCH...
Okie... Backie from my lunch... had the cheap cheap yong tau foo.. and a great news for me to annouce here.. Mingli has successfully gotten my flu virus haha.. after 2 weeks of her immune system battling with my virus... it finally breaks down and rise the white flag ha.. Alrt.. am realli being bad rite here.. Fren, sick still can make a joke out of it..hmmm i think, i'm born to be a bad person ha But i think Mingli is as bad too.. she actually threathen to cough into my face and let my illness to not recover.. so evil rite....
98.7FM is actually played this song just now.. realli nice... like the lyrics very much.. here it is->
i tried to fight the feeling, the feeling took me down
i struggle and i lost the day you knocked me out
now everything's got meaning, the meanings bring me down
i'm watching as a screening of my life plays out
every day i fight these feelings
for your sake i will hide the real thing
you can run all your life, all mine i will chase
you should never fight your feelings
when your very bones believe them
you should never fight your feelings
you have to follow nature's law
i'll live with never knowing, if knowings gonna change
i'll stop a feeling growing, i will stay away
like a broken record, stuck before a song
a million beginnings, none of them the one
every day i fight these feelings
for your sake i will hide the real thing
you can run all your life, all mine i will chase
you should never fight your feelings
when your very bones believe them
you should never fight your feelings
you have to follow nature's law
i wrote her letters and tried to send them
in a bottle i place my hope
an s.o.s full of good intentions sinking
will you give it to me, don't make me wait
you built me up, knocked me down
but i will stand my ground
and guard this light that i've found
you should never fight your feelings
when your very bones believe them
if you let them show, you'll keep them
i know your hurt but soon you'll rise again, again, again:.
Okie.. Sat also went to meet up with Emily, Woeichyi and Serene.. and also very coincidentally met Anna Lim Po Po... She realli slims down a lot... Ppl ard me all sliming down.. but i'm like the other way round... I'm like actually gaining more and more FATSSSSSS... Why am i always going in opposite direction from the other people... People get stronger while i juz get weaker... People get wiser while i get stupid-er.... Pals around me always tell me that i've not changed as a person since Secondary...i'm still the same old Aizhi that they noe... i duno if thats a good thing or bad thing... Good is that i didnt age even after 3 years.. Bad is that i didnt improve to be a better and wiser adult...Anyhow... anyhow...
we catch a movie.. It's been like super duper long since i last watch a movie.. we actually watch the ACT OF SEDUCTION.. is realli nice.. have a real good laugh in the cinema.. enjoy every moment of the show.. coz got my chio bu ha.. the actress who acted in Summer Scent... very very pretty and hottie inside the film... i think she realli make all guys drool esp her dancing scene...
Before i close today's chapter.. juz came across this and wants to share to whoever still reads my blog...find it realli meaningful... do think abt it...
-->When you get to boil your life down to a single suitcase, when you desperately have to. What are you going to carry it with you...
I'm sure you'll Ask yourself, what you really need, and it wont be what you imagine - i bet... you'll easily toss aside all your unfinished work, bills and your daily calendar to make room for the pair of flannel pajamas you wear and perhaps the stone your child/lover/fren gave it to you that shaped like a heart and maybe a book that you read the first time and fell in love.
It turns out what's important is not everything that you've accumulated all these years, but those few things you can carry it with you
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
rumbles & whines posted at 23:05
Haiz.. haven recover from my coughing and sneezing.. ask Mingli and she can tell u how bad in shape i'm when i'm with her in the office... I've been wasting lotsa tissues cleaning away my mucus and getting rid of my phagm...
So conclusion.. Is not good to be sick.. so my frens.. do eat well, slp well and exercise regularly... Sick realli can make someone looks freaking dead...Anyhow, guess i've been like a flu bug lately.. indirectly trying to spread my germs ard to all ppl ard me esp those in da office and at home... so ppl better stay away.. but too bad Mingli gotto share the room with me.. So am praying hard for her that she wont caught my virus, so she got no reason to take MC and leave me alone to rot and eat ha... So Mingli u better stay strong.. Train ur WBCs to work harder in killing all virus i emitted haha
This week didnt get to train and run much.. u noe weather so bad nowadays.. freaking sian making me so damn legthargic... Anyhow.. today went Bugis with Ah meng, Maria, Nu Bi Ming Li.. she wanna collect her specs (that she had made on Fri) as well as getting her golden belt tat Cui Chun and I suggested ha... Before we went, we'll somehow force to take up a Sudoku mini test haha.. Super stress alrt.. but kinda glad tat i still manage to complete.. But i muz admit is super super hard la.. take us damn long.. think more than 1/2 hrs.. Alrt.. mayb i'm slow.. ppl like u may juz simply complete it in 3 mins or less.. but still i'm somehow proud tat i'm able to heng heng complete it all correctly without mistakes.. Thank god...
Anw.. this Sudoku mini test comes with a purpose.. as usual, STK always have lotsa interesting events.. and this Fri there will be a Sudoku competition.. so how can SC(my department ppl) not take part of it... Coz i think my department ppl all are super duper ONS and enthusiastic loads of ppl... N one of the guy-->Kin Chong he wanted to form a dream team in taking part in the competition so we can like win for SC... hence he makes us do the test...but i think the outcome quite disappointing haha.. we are all pretty slow in solving it...Therefore conclusion more practise needed ha...
Wish for the week... I wan to recover from my flu!!!!Run Run, get better in SUDOKU...more hardworking...Meet up with more frenssss
Appreciate all the care, love and help from Ah Meng... Thanx Maria!!! U are the greatest only when i'm ill haha.... N i gotta song we both trying hard to find lolxxxx
Hai Shi Ai Zhe Ni....
Sunday, April 16, 2006
rumbles & whines posted at 19:45
Okie.. been weeks again since i came online and actually blog... not busy but lazy ha...Life have been so far so good... as routine as ever...Without TV i juz cant live i guess... realli glad to hear that all the Sikkim people have all came home.. hope to get to see them soon.. Sorry pals, didnt went over to receive u guys... Anyway is nice to noe tat all of u have been safe and sound.. Anyhow.. do collect from me ur CSM CD.. i've finish doing it alrt... Okie.. and juz get the news from Big lung's blog abt Daren and sissy going to HK... juz hope they realli enjoy themselves over there and of coz do rmb to get souvenirs back for all of us hahaSomehow people juz coming into and stepping away from my life... people around are all busy engaging in watever they're doing.. be it they like it, love it, detest it or juz simply force to do it.. so it seems to highlight to me again.. maintaining a friendship as well as a relationship is not tat easy.. with all the different lifestyle tat each and every of us live...Alrt... good friday went out with MingLi and Shuwen.. very pathetic.. it was supposed to be a class outing.. in the end onli three of us... all back-up last min...anyhow.. we still have a pretty pleasant nite shopping and taking neo-prints... and as usual i cause Mingli wallet to bleed damn bad again ha....Sat my grandma's birthday and also the day of the Hollaback Crew performance final.... The Click Five were also there.. realli a waste that i cant be there... anyhow.. afternoon went over to Bugis to find my mama den go over to con-course the TEO CHEW RESTUARANT to eat den saw big lung and her mama... very surprisingly coincident alrt... nv expect to see her ha.. coz morning suppose to meet for running but sick again.. den went market with my ah ma as she bring me to get some herbal tea.. but i dun seems to get well though... cough getting so bad tat it cause me to have headache.. damn weak alrt... sigh sigh.... Better get my WOODS tmr.. or else i guess i'll be dying of coughing or juz get TB and die...Being sick not onli tired u physically but mentally... and it also turning me to become a lazy lazy bum.. though i noe i'm already lazy in nature.. i have not been working on my project over the weekends though i have a long weekend... damn damn... i realli gotto pull my socks up.... be more discipline.... I need to be on diet too... loss weight loss weight... Tianyin realli loss alot since her yr 1... i realli gotto learn her spirit of lossing weight alrt.. Nowadays been addicted to Sudoku... all thanx to my supervisor who gotten Mingli and i into it haha... STK's life realli get my life changing...Hmmm guess today again wont be working on my project again... lazy me gonna watch tv again ha... been disconnected from the world since i watch da chang jing ha.. anyhow.. call me aunty or ah ma.. da chang jing is realli a nice show... worthwhile watching... i'm addicted to it somehow ha...Can you tell me...How can i prove to you that we belong togetherHow can i make u understand the things that i couldnt bring myself to say to u...If only loving u is OK... I just cant find the way to show what you mean to me...I duno wat i can doPerhaps i am wrong for loving u
