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♥ Lessons to learn and Remember

Sunday, March 19, 2006
rumbles & whines posted at 23:10

*tired Alrt.. juz finishing rushing watever i need to submit to my supervisor tmr... duno if i did it correctly.. but i've tried my very best.. juz hope she's content and satisfied with the efforts tat i've put in..*praying hard

Anw, am not looking forward for tmr.. coz as weekdays approach i've gotto work..N i noe all i do again is sitting infront of the computer and research and research for things i've always ought to find!!!Arrgh.. Anyway many of u should noe, i'm a super lazy bum tat juz hope to rot infront of the tv and watch all my beloved tv programme for all my life.. damn-- Though tmr gonna be lotsa nice late night shows on channel 5 like the desperate housewife, grey anatomy but... i'm not gonna be comfort till the time of 1745 is reached.. Why i've got to work!!! I swear to not be engage in research and development department again...

People ard me are all busy engaging in camps and making money.. i realli miss u ppl yea... long time since we get tog...Alrt.. anyhow, I realli miss doing camps somehow.. but somehow, i feel rather fearful if ever u cal me to take charge of a camp or group myself.. coz it seems like a million years from now since i last take charge of a group and engaging in the camp.. i realli envy those ppl ard me who are constantly doing camp and enjoying every little bits of it... How i wish my attachment can be as enjoyable and adventurous like those outdoor camps...*pout

Okie.. juz a moment ago, while i was rushing my report.. there's this rather big and fat and brownie beetle keep flying ard my room.. i'm seriously irritated by it.. but wat can i do.. girls are still girls.. we're still fearful of this small little insects, though we noe tat we're like a million or billion times bigger den them.. Act of smashing them is too cruel and disguesting for me and i bet b4 i ever get them smash and squash, i'll get into a coma or worst get a heart attack and die on the spot once it starts to fly towards my direction.. Sometimes i realli wonder why insects have wings and fly.. if they have got no wings and dont fly, i bet i'll get them killed in no time.. Or best of all.. if i've wings and i fly, i bet i wont even scare of all those flying disgusting and irritating insects or wat i cal it ka-ka.

Yup.. i'm not being realistic again.. but sometimes u noe.. getting away from reality mayb a time where one can have a peace of her own mind and destresss... Anway, i'm juz a person who loves to dream.. not realistic at all though i'm leaving in reality, i often wan to run away and hid.. not tat i dun wanna face the world like a grow up does but facing the real world, facing the reality, there's much more u'll have to compromise, accomodate, understand to co-exist with the ppl as well as the things ard you... coz in this world u're not alone.. everyone have diff thinking, diff expectations... the characteristics of self-less i guess tats wat i realli need... Sorry for the many times, i've never consider how you feel and juz onli think of my own thoughts and interest.. i promise, i'll at least learn and try harder from now to place others b4 me.. i shall learn to be more self-sacrifies.

Falling ill.. i can sense my throat burning...weaker den ever

The dark side:
Is Breaking my heart, for each time i see you but each time i cant show u how much i realli do care abt you...
For long ago, i already noe the ans... i noe wat i should do is to juz forget about you... forget the times tat we once shared But if onli i can have part of my brain or my heart washed or even bleach.. so i can forget how i actually feel about you, but till now, i still cant... I'm trying to convince myself tat, i believe wats cal love is not love...
I'm realli trying hard... need more time....

Bury the feelings and Keeping mute
Protagonist

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